The way of the Rainbow

One by one everything is coming to an end. Exams have passed, leaving me with only one more to go. Thesis is done. Things are packed, farewell party is planned and tickets are booked. With minor preparation left, we are all ready to go. At least I’m ready to go, probably not so with my husband. He and his soft heart had lately fill my days with ‘I really gonna miss our friends here’, or ‘This house have provided roof for us to be frustrated over studies, to curse the weather, to cry from missing our homeland, but in the same time for us to cooked for each other, and to cuddle when it snow’. Well, I told you about his soft heart.

But as much as I like to put a thick skin on his remarks, the art of living together have successfuly create individuals assimilating to their partner more than I realize. So walking the city, I found myself admired the sunset more, the bridges, popplar trees, and berries growing wild on a tiny garden somewhere around my neighborhood. I started questioning, did I made the right decision for going home so soon? Is this so soon, or actually just right? I have doubts about raising my baby in Indonesia, the country where I always put my heart into. I have worries that it might not be the best place for him to grow, or get as much as what The Netherlands have offered him. Life here is much tougher for me than it is back home, but funny enough, lately I found myself getting more convenient with hardships. I like the feeling of being able to overcome them. I used to have such an average credit for my own capacity, but now I change my mind and it all I learned from this country.

When things became unbearable back then, I reminded myself to always see it in the grander light; How fortunate I am to be granted with a scholarship, to be accepted in the same University with my husband, to be trusted with an opportunity to have a baby, and an extended family who had no problems on visiting me more than once in a year. How many people got such chances? But yet just like every other ordinary being, I keep on forgetting. Faced with daily technical difficulties, it was hard not to complain and whine. What a shame.

But it’s true that in the end we will see horizon with the clearest view. Now that I have come to an end, I know that having my baby here this year, instead of causing me more burden, had actually motivated me to finish my study on time. I received too many wonderful help from friends and staff of University, on the basis of my pregnancy. Despite the regretful ‘what ifs’ I used to have when people my age busy travelling Europe, having my baby around have given me the bliss that is priceless and incomparable. Circumstances which I considered too hard to handle, had beyond my awareness, kept me focus.

This year had surely been a milestone for my future and within, includes of course, my baby and my husband. Us as a family. I learn that all the credits I awarded to myself, are there because they are there. My husband with his amazing cooking, patience and understanding + my baby with his well manner, acting like a real philosopher when he kept his calm in times when mommy and daddy needed quiteness. Had this year unexist, I wouldn’t be so faithful that the 3 of us make such a wonderful team together.

A couple of days ago we had little celebration on Indonesian independence day. A rainy morning and a delicious nasi kuning after, we realized that from the huge windows was a scene of beautiful rainbow. Rain may lead to flood and disaster, but I believe that if we have faith to a happy ending, rain will lead us to the way of the rainbow.